My wedding toast for Neil and Stacy
Apparently it's traditional for the best man to insinuate a desire for free drinks into his introduction and poke fun at the groom for a few sentences before launching into the sweet stuff. Also, a few jokes are aparently in order-- the best of a bad bunch is about how wonderful the wedding was-- even the wedding cake was in tiers.

Well, I'm not very good at making jokes, and I'm not a traditional best man-- you'll have noticed the skirt, I'm sure. So I'm just going to go with what I'm comfortable with, just like I did in picking out clothes.

My name is Chrysoula, and I've known Neil for six years, and Stacy for almost that long. When Neil asked me to be his best man, I was speechless-- I'd walked back from lunch with him expecting a serious chat about some problems in a game we were running and instead he hit me with this. Honestly, standing by Neil's side as he married Stacy has been one of my daydreams since before they were engaged-- they're that good together-- but not a daydream I ever expected to become real. I'm not, as I said, a traditional best man. And of all our shared close friends, I had known Neil the least amount of time.

Six years-- but six years of laughter, of secrets, of hard times and good times. Six years of trust, six years of talking, six years of friendship even when friendship was hard. Additionally, six years of being bossy, demanding, and enthusiastic-- I suppose it's no big surprise, after all, that Neil wanted me in a position to organize his groomsmen and make sure he got to the wedding all right. I was, after all, the best man for the job.

So there you go. That's who I am and why I'm here, generally. Why I'm here right now, though, is to make sure everybody's aware of what a wonderful couple Neil and Stacy are. I've been in a position to watch their relationship when it was young, when they couldn't be parted from each other, and as it matured into something deeper, something lasting, something eternal. I remember when Neil was nervous of marriage, and I remember when he proposed to Stacy, and the casual way he revealed this to his friends. "What???" we all said (and then 'Congratulations'. And then 'finally!'),

But now here's Neil, all grown up. Mostly grown up. Married, anyhow. And married to Stacy! When I sat down to write this speech, I polled some friends informally-- it turns out that Stacy is wonderful, graceful, fierce, and lovely. I think the secret reason Neil picked me as a best woman is that anyone else might knock him out and try to take his place at the wedding. Luckily, I had his back.

Hmmm. I think now's the point where I instruct Neil and Stacy to hold hands on the big roller coaster of life and so forth. Not my words, I promise you. Neil, Stacy, keep on taking care of each other. You're both wonderful. Keep grooving together on the Dance Dance Revolution pad of life. Keep dancing, anyhow.

Now for my words. Neil and Stacy are both fond of stories, and so am I, so I thought I'd leave them with this one.

Once upon a time, there was a knight errant.
He'd wander the land, telling stories to townsfolk
and rescuing maidens from monsters
and teaching towns to defend themselves.

Once upon a time, there was a princess.
She'd wander the land, listening to stories
and rescuing towns from monsters
and sewing ballgowns for maidens.

The knight errant told the story one day
of the princess who rescued towns
when a voice in the audience said,
"That's not what happened. It's my story after all."

The princess stood up.
She had a sword. The knight errant was in love.
Just then, a monster attacked!
"I must save the town!" cried the princess heroically.

"I must save you!" cried the knight errant hopefully.
And the princess turned, and gave him such a look.
He quaked in his boots.
Maybe he should have stuck to telling stories.

And then she smiled and said, "Okay!"
The monster was vanquished!
And afterwards, the knight taught the town to defend itself
and the princess showed the maidens how to have gowns of their own.

and of course, they lived happily ever after.

If you'd all stand and lift your glasses with me now, I'd like to toast
Neil and Stacy.

In this case, a traditional toast seems most appropriate: To love, to laughter, and to happily ever after. To Neil and Stacy. Yay!